! Sozont #23: Spike's View

23.  Spike's View

As fall turned into winter, the foliage died back and rabbits became harder to find near Fur City.  Today's hunt had taken Sozont far into the hinterlands, but now he was on his way home.  He passed through a clearing that seemed strangely familiar.  He knew that the last time he'd been here, the décor had been greener and there hadn't been one of those stupid blue signs in the middle of it.
     The sign pictured two scruffy wolves in a junkyard.  Ugly weeds grew through holes in the junk.  The wolves were licking each other's tongues.  The caption read: "Gay Sex Doesn't Make Babies".  It was in remarkably poor taste, even for a rutting sign.  Sozont was glad it had been placed in the middle of nowhere and hoped it had been a donation, not paid for with tax debits.
     So what was familiar about this clearing?  Oh yes, now he remembered: this was where he had first met Spike.  Sozont pulled out his cell phone and called the echidna.  The phone rang quite a few times, with several "call being transferred" noises.  Eventually his friend answered.
     —"Hi Spike!  It's Sozont."
     —"Hey!  What's happening?"
     —"I was just passing through that clearing where we first met and thought of you."
     —"Well, isn't that sweet!"
     —"There's a stupid blue sign there now."
     —"Yech!  I hate those signs.  I don't spend much time in Furry Fairytale Land in the winter.  I'm over in Jism Market now."
     —"Oh.  I was hoping to see you again some time."
     —"Be at your lair in a hour."
     —"Great!  Oh, and I'm sorry I was so uptight at the Furry Club."
     —"No worries, mon.  If I got wound up about everything I ever wanted but didn't get, I'd be a nervous wreck!"
     —"Glad to hear it.  See you soon!"

Sozont got home with some time to spare before Spike arrived.  He used the time to rehash the last conversation in his mind.  It was something he did far too often.
     Sozont had mentioned "Furry Club" and Spike had talked about not getting something he wanted, which was presumably RL sex with Sozont.  The tigrihippostrich wasn't sure how he felt about that.  Certainly the RL stuff with Marth was very attractive and perhaps Epistemology Wolf would also be a good time.  On the other hand, things were moving rapidly with Marth right now—Sozont would prefer not to make big changes in the rest of his life while he worked on getting his rutting-season commitment firmed up.
     Spike had also mentioned that he was spending time in Jism Market, a scenario that Sozont had never visited nor had ever intended to visit.  Firstly, it was non-furry (there was a "Spooge Market" for that).  Also, Sozont could not understand how the economy worked in those gay-fantasy scenarios.  He didn't want join a VR community where he'd always be just a peon because he couldn't figure out how to get ahead in life.

     Spike arrived and Sozont was happy to see him.  They talked about stuff.  Sozont remembered what a good time he'd had with Marth at the hot tub and thought perhaps something similar could happen with Spike if he spilled a bean or two.
     —"It looks like I might actually have a rutting partner this year."
     —"Oh?  Who's the lucky girl?"
     —"Martha Stewart."
     —"That one???  I wouldn't go near that bitch.  At my school we have some girls like that—they're trying for an 'MRS' degree."
     —"There has been no discussion of marriage.  We're just rutting."  In Fairytale Land, legal marriages were for furs who planned to leave the meat market and choose the same partner every year for rutting.  Tardrayn-rah was married.  The culture was somewhat negative on marriage because the gene pool was fairly small and it was necessary to keep swapping partners to raise the diversity of offspring.
     —"Uh huh.  You know, once you have a kid with a girl, you're related to her forever.  And that vixen has some nasty claws.  Why do you like her?"
     —"Oh, I don't know.  We just sort of 'click' together, somehow."
     Spike cocked his head in a canine manner.  "Have you met her in RL?  What does she look like?"
     —"Yeah.  Let's just say she's an 'old-style Furry girl'."
     —"Tsk.  That bad, eh?"
     This conversation was nothing at all like what Sozont had hoped for.  Instead of getting closer, he and Spike seemed to be moving apart.  And Spike was dissing Sozont's girl, the only girl who had ever expressed any serious interest in rutting with him.  That made him feel defensive and feisty.
     —"Well, *I* like her."
     —"Okay, okay, don't have a cow, man.  I'm only a fruit.  Don't let me interfere with your eternal happiness. I'll just walk off into the sunset by myself now."  He starting humming Mendelssohn's A Midsummer Night's Dream.
     —"Yeah?  Well 'not today, Zurg'."  Sozont assumed the quadruped position and did several sudden deep knee bends.  "So, uh, you wanna?"
     —"Oh, why not?"  Spike pretended to remove his nonexistent belt.
     So they cuddled, and did other things such as you can imagine, and then snuggled some more.  Afterward, Sozont still wanted to reduce this barrier that had arisen between them.  He decided to try some 'pillow talk'.
     —"So, um, Spike?"
     —"Why does your penis have only three heads?"
     Silence.  Not good, what had Sozont stepped on now?
     "I mean, a standard echidna penis has four heads, right?  It's, um, quite unusual for a fur to pick a body form that's, uh, nonstandard in that area.  I mean, I like it just the way it is, but I was just wondering, um..."
     The expression on the echidna's face made him seem much older and wiser than usual.  "It reflects something not quite right about that part of my hy00man body.  I'd rather not talk about it, since it's obviously something you'll never want to see, Mr. Going Straight As An Arrow."
     —"Hey!  I'm still the same ole' bi guy I've always been.  I'm just getting closer to my straight-side goals, that's all."
     Spike moved to the lair's exit.  "I've yiffed a lot of guys and a few gals in my time, Sozont.  I think I know a little about these things.  That girl will be asking you for an exclusive contract.  And unless I'm mistaken, you're going to give it to her."  Spike left the lair without saying good-bye.

     Well, that was depressing.  Spike and Marth did not like each other at all.  Spike in particular seemed to think of Marth as a competitor he couldn't beat.  And Sozont had never told either of them about the sex he had with rabbits.  Why would anyone want to know about that?  It was bloody and would have been extremely painful if they weren't NPC's...  Sozont tried to shake the thoughts out of his head.  He was *so* glad he had been too hungry that day to use Venus Fly Trap as a yiffing toy.  She would have been a life-destroying mistake.  Sozont hadn't done any rabbit-sex in recent times, not since he had first met Spike actually, but deep down he was still just a goddamned troll and nobody who really knew who he was could possibly love him.

Next episode:    Showing Inner Animals    [Furry spirituality]
Prev. episode: In the Hot Tub [Frankness; nudity; poor self-image]
Episode list: Contents

-- Pyesetz the Dog